


Posion

by Inventivetic



Series: Runaways [1]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Alphys-Centric, Animal Death, Codependency, Comfort/Angst, Developing Friendships, Drama, Established Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), F/F, Fantastic Racism, Fluff and Humor, Hypothermia, Implied Sexual Content, Major Illness, Mental Health Issues, Mute Frisk (Undertale), Nonbinary Chara & Frisk (Undertale), Papyrus-centric, Platonic Slow Burn, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route - "I want to stay with you.", Unbeta'd, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inventivetic/pseuds/Inventivetic
Summary: Life is good! Everything perfect for Alphys! A perfect home, a happy ending...Okay, so maybe the family Frisk made for them had...completely scattered to the four winds. But Alphys' life is perfect as long as she has Undyne. With her by her side, everything is manageable... until that security is undone by Undyne's hand, and she sends her away on "vacation".She decides to spend her "break" at a local Ski Resort, only to find that she has stumbled into Papyrus' workplace and accidentally breaks the three-year-long radio silence between them.It's only been three years, but he's aged.
Relationships: Alphys & Papyrus (Undertale), Alphys & Sans (Undertale), Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Asgore Dreemurr & Gerson, Asgore Dreemurr & Undyne, Gerson & Undyne (Undertale), Papyrus & Sans (Undertale)
Series: Runaways [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711600
Comments: 12
Kudos: 30





	1. Break

**Author's Note:**

> [tfw there are barely any Papyrus & Alphys platonic fics ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGaSMW3VEnk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys gets ready to leave on vacation, per Undyne's request.
> 
> **warning: codependency, brief/unspecific description of suicidal ideation**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 8/7/2020: made a few corrections, changed Undyne's occupation/place of work

Alphys woke up.

The rays of light were a blanket of warmth, and the nudge from her “sleep” was like being plucked from choppy waters as she was drowning. She had been blessed with the nectar of consciousness when visions of dripping bodies starved her of rest and put her out of misery when she had prayed for rest.

Instead, she received “sleep”, as if she’d asked a trickster genie and not her own body of a very simple and essential function.

Eyes roamed around the room: white wallpaper, white cotton carpet, cherrywood nightstand, light pink sheets, and a window to her left.

Alphys felt like she was slowly returning to her body, noise seeping in like her ears had been ringing. The cars outside roared like train engines, birdsong was a singing a chorus in an echoing church, her own heartbeat was a jackhammer against her sternum.

The door swung open, and the nigh silence was a relief.

“Bad dream?” Undyne whispered, brow creased, eyes roaming up and down Alphys’ form. She sagged in the doorway like the tray in her hands weighed a thousand pounds. Sweat and cooking greased floated behind in a scented cloud as she sat at Alphys’ side. The mattress dipped with her weight.

Blearily, Alphys noticed that one hand was white-knuckled in its grip, while the opposite’s fingertip brushed her shoulder with a comforting invitation.

Alphys buried her face in her chest and black t-shirt and wrapped her arms around her. She could feel the heat leaving her face. The weariness left. She sighed openly, melting. “Is it really obvious…” She rasped. If she had the energy, she would have let out a miserable laugh. The irony lingered in the air, and she felt like Undyne should be spitting out an “ _I told you so!”_

It always seemed like Undyne had always been able to see through the thin facade of put-togetherness, even when Alphys _thought_ she _was_ okay.

Undyne leaned out of the embrace and pushed the tray into Alphys’ lap: half of a piece of toast with butter not yet melted, half of a boiled egg, a helping of grits, and a single strip of bacon. It smelled heavenly.

She wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she ate, observing silently, leaning back against the headboard. Her lips pulled back to reveal yellow, pointed teeth. The cocky grin made her look like she’d just won a fight.

“Just the perks of being the girlfriend!” She said, throwing her head back in a laugh. She watched Alphys’ expression as she pulled out a remote from under her pillow. She paused for a second and pressed the on-button when Alphys didn’t argue.

“Wife,” Alph supplied around her toast.

Undyne’s expression went soft and wonky, her eyes pinched like she wanted to cry. “Wife...” She said fondly to the T.V as the unfamiliar, retro intro of _Super Dimension Fortress Macross_ blared from the speakers.

Alphys looked up from her lap to give Undyne a thankful kiss, but she rose from the bed and her red ponytail disappeared quickly around the doorframe.

_Like the light at the end of a dark tunnel…_

She _did_ eventually make her way to the kitchen, where a more fulfilling helping had been provided by “Chef” Undyne. Undyne shot her a look over her shoulder from where she hunched over the sink, washing pans. She was biting her lip, and Alphys tried to guess if it was the Angry Bite, Thoughtful Bite, or just… _whatever_. It was hard to tell with her, even after three or so years.

“So…” Undyne began awkwardly, her domestic tranquility giving way to pointed stoniness, “did the affirmations help? And the breathing?”

Alphys huffed and stared into her orange juice as she sipped from it.

Undyne dried her hands on the sink towel. She sounded subdued… and a little nervous, when she asked, “…What are you planning on doing today?” Her back was still turned.

Alphys swallowed.

She remembered her first days on the surface when walking outside and seeing the large, large sky used to overwhelm her daily. Not necessarily in a bad way, but riled her up, made her more prone to panic. It made her heart race, almost nervous that’d she float up in the sky and watch as the houses grew smaller and smaller until she vanished into the abyss of space.

Or the unfamiliar creatures she would encounter occasionally, typically by accident, more in uncomfortable situations that not: dogs running after her after getting off their leashes, birds pecking angrily at windows as she stood behind them or a centipede in her drawer as she pulled it open.

She would skip out on her responsibilities because they still could felt too big, and although she was (mostly) forgiven, it had stung to fail. The fear of failure grew as she admitted, “I _am_ capable of hurting people. I already have,” and she promised she wouldn’t, ever again. And a long time ago, while she was ignoring worried calls, she would have said to herself _that was inevitable_. She had crossed a line that only the strong return from, and she could not pass.

Avoidance should be a thing of the past.

Yet, Alphys said, “I don’t really feel like going to work today.” She held a small _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Two_ figurine in her claws, rubbing the plastic. It normally sat on the nightstand of her bed, and she appreciated the toy because the bright colors were grounding and a staple. The toy said _you are not in Ebbot anymore, that nightmare is over._

Undyne’s ear-fins drooped when her expectations weren't met, but always the one to put on a brave face, she usually settled for an air of grim acceptance instead of outright disappointment. Alphys… _wasn’t_ a disappointment. She didn’t believe that about herself _anymore_ , but she always had the capacity to be to Undyne… as long as she was a monster.

Alphys anticipated the same expression, so she procrastinated by holding the doll and thinking about that instead.

As she remembered, the new director had redesigned the characters to accommodate the new art style so that it “looked sleeker” and toys had been produced for the spin-off/sequel.

She got angry nearly every time she looked at it.

The design was clearly meant to be fanservice to the thirstier fans—which she admittedly _was_ apart of—but it just showed how out of touch the new staff was about the themes of friendship and love the show! The show was cutesy. The show was a distraction. The show symbolized simplicity. Designs tell _stories_ , and how could you use super-high render 3D models when one of the characters’ arc is about learning to accept that her friends like dogs and she _doesn't?_

How could she EVER grow to respect a franchise that used shallow fan service to distract the audience from its _gaping_ flaws? She’d almost fallen for it too, she reminisced bitterly. She had so many people argue the _“good”_ quality of the writing, but…she was dissuaded from complying with the overwhelming _(and wrong)_ positive feedback when she lived to see the day where she was agreed with.

Alphys slumped in her seat. Her thoughts felt gray all of a sudden. That’s why _he’d_ given this to her. It’d been the first gift she could remember receiving from _him_ in years. He’d said ‘ _you know that anime you hate? well, here’s a figurine of the redesign you want to spit on, from the series that smears on your favorite franchise’s credibility. love ya, alph._

…No, _he_ didn't say that. But snark would be an improvement upon the nothing she got nowadays.

Alphys _knew_ that certain circumstances would be a guarantee as a byproduct of their friendship. But she couldn’t prevent them. All she could do was resign herself into her happy-go-lucky life and pray that the good memories didn’t drown within _him_ in the meantime.

Alphys heard the chair creak as Undyne sit down, and Alphys’ eyes flickered up.

She was smiling.

“GOOD!” She boomed, and Alphys felt like she’d missed a step going down the stairs. “ _I_ think! You! Need! A vacation! Anyway! _Withoutme_!” She added hastily. Alphys felt her expression contort into confusion and then mild worry,— there was _no way_ Alphys could ever be happy anywhere without Undyne being there to back her— guilt seemed to wilt Undyne’s excitement.

Undyne steepled her fingers, her pointer finger going up and down, _up and down, up and down_ … Alphys looked on, a couple of lonely scenarios flittering through her mind’s eye.

“I dunno? I think that’s… not a great idea? I just need breaks, not a… not a…not a _long break,_ “ Alphys twirled her fork in-between her claws and tapped her foot under the table. “I’m not good…not _the best_ at relaxing?”

“Listen, Alphy. _All_ heroes need to face their fears _sometime!…_ Life is like the forging of a giant sword…”

“It will make or break—”

“It _fucking rocks!”_ Undyne said, throwing her flexed arms into the air, her grin growing manic, “… _Sometimes._ Anyhow, I _really_ need you to take this vay-cay for me. I hate seeing you in that stuffy office all the time?? You…I can’t tell if you _like your new job_?? And you work all the time! It can’t be healthy!”

Alphys looked into Undyne’s eyes, silently pleading. A part of her didn’t understand how she’d let Undyne down. She made plenty of time for her! She was affectionate and honest and open! Intellectually, she knew the suggestion was not a dismissal. But damn. Alphys put a hand on her aching heart. It felt like one.

“So! What do you say? Why don’t we go pick out a good vacation spot and you spend…a week there?” She grinned again and Alphys closed her eyes.

She forced a smile. “ _Sssure_ …? One week… can’t be that bad…” She’d pick somewhere where she _could_ choose to be busy, bring her laptop. A working vacation, simultaneously free of the crippling expectations of her peers _and_ the healing, gaping wound of her past! A whole week of _healthy_ distractions. Fun, even! She felt her shoulders lower.

“Great!” She leaped onto her feet, noticing the time: 8:45. “Oh, shit… I gotta go!” She leaned in and gave Alphys a wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek. Alphys blushed, feeling her mood rise and fall with her heart-rate as she vanished into the bedroom.

Like clockwork, Undyne returned with the keys to her car with an anime keychain attached to it. She had her claws on her hips and a smug grin on her face.

Alphys couldn’t help but blush. She really needed to find a designated place for these keys! She took them from her. The only pro was that Undyne doted on her, but if she was late too many times, she’d be fired again. One job was already enough for Alphys to consider making that fact stick.

“Love you! I’ll see you when I come back from A _aaaa—WORK!_ I MEAN WORK!” Undyne said from the stairs. Alphys trailed behind sluggishly, watching from the bottom of the stairs as she drove the opposite way of the executive projection agency.

Alphys dropped her head in her claws.

She sat on the stairs.

~*~

Alphys opened the fridge in the employee workroom, toes curling as she settled in her uncomfortably plastic chair. A few humans walked past. A few years and they’d stop staring, but Alphys wondered if she’d ever stop feeling like an intruder…

Alpyhs closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn’t think like that, no matter how loud and big her thoughts felt.

She usually used this time to look over her notes from the teacher workshops from these past few days… a few of the teachers expressed difficulty in describing _how_ magic works to _huma_ n students and the repeated spells were taxing for poor Ms. Winnie. She said it would be nice to have a teacher aid.

Although, all Alphys could think about was how narrow their scope was in terms of employment. It had only been 3 years since the monster's arrival on the surface. She was sure a large handful had jumped at their _very_ much expanded education opportunities, but finding them could be hard.

She sighed as she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and picked up the remote and so the T.V. mounted in the corner saw another day. It was so comically small, and the speakers so broke, it made the noise that spluttered out of them sound like it was recorded underwater in a tin can.

The static made her clear-headed. It reminded her of the simple days where she made inventions for _fun_. Alphys found herself smiling as she recalled a few shenanigans where Mettaton’s voice box was malfunctioning.

“ _A … crisis…am…ng mo…ster….”_ The speakers sputtered, the image of the news anchorwoman faded and doused in television snow. “ _…aparent cau…e for Fal..n Do…n…”_

Alphys stood up suddenly, feeling a stab of guilt.

Undyne would have told her to switch it off the news the moment she turned it on.

Shaking, she dropped the remote onto the table with a loud thud. Muscle memory urged her to pull out her phone and scroll until she reached a contact titled ~ _Fluffybuns~._ Not for the first time, she considered changing it. Not for the first time, she ignored the perfect nickname.

It rang three times. For some reason, that seemed odd.

“Hello, Alphys,” His deep voice resonated in her chest, “how are you?”

“Hi,” She breathed shakily, “um, I hope you’re alright. U-um, so, Undyne asked to go on a vacation, right?” She began to pace, dragging her feet against the pink carpet. “And… and I said yes, even though I don’t want…I don’t…” Her throat closed like a drawstring bag, and she could feel the color draining out of her face.

There’s a silence before Asgore spoke again, “Alphys… I must request…that…” His words were slow and pained, and each syllable sent a stab of rejection through her heart. _Stop bothering me. You’re too much._

How many people would she disappoint today?

“—and I wanted to ask you why she was a-acting so w-weird! She’s driven towards Ebbot today…” She squeaked. Oh God, she just lied.

“Oh,” Asgore said, his voice lowered and sad, pathetic like a puppy in the rain, “well… I am afraid Gerson has fallen ill.”

Alphys switched which hand was holding the phone and wiped her sweaty palm on her black-and-white polka-dot dress. “Sick as in…?”

“Gerson is very old,” Asgore said, and memories from last night’s nightmare _bayed,_ “…but tenacious. He will recover, soon, I believe.”

She sighed, voice rattling in her chest, voice raw like she’d been screaming. “Okay,” Her voice cracked, “thank you… um…”

“My pleasure, my friend. Feel free to visit any—erm… _call_ first, if you don’t mind.” He said, adding, “I think he’d love to hear from you. I could bring him to the phone if you want? Otherwise, I am afraid I must leave.”

Gerson…

The thought of talking to him made her stomach swirl. Their hurricane-tornado-volcano-tsunami-disaster of a relationship had eased… but today she had endured too many sucker punches. He spoke to her like she was transparent, and her insecurities were weeds he needed to trample. A discussion with him would leave her licking her wounds, no doubt. But… later. _Later,_ she promised. He was still family.

“Alphys?” Asgore said, making her realize she’d been quiet for too long. Ugh. He’d probably called him while he was working at his flower shop, to… to _complain._

“I’ll… I’ll ask her about it tonight,” She said aloud to herself, and Asgore just happened to be on the other line, “thank you.”

“Good! I hope everything turns in your favor, Mrs. Alphys. Goodbye.” And the line goes dead. A few months ago, she probably wouldn’t have believed he had the capacity to hang up first.

~*~

After work, Alphys pulled into a fast-food parking lot and bought fries. She didn’t particularly like this particular restaurant, but the greasy, salt smell and oily after-taste made her heartache in catharsis and longing.

She pulled up a text conversation, then clicked out of it. No, no… she’d just be a bother, she knew. So she leaned back in her chair, placing her phone on her chest and closed her eyes.

She prodded her favorite memory again, and a little of the weight lifted off her chest.

Undyne. How she would respond to conflict… was the rhetorical question. Would it really be a big deal if she said no? After many years, fights and arguments had filed the blade of dread’s knife. _Now_ … now it was more like dread’s toothpick at her back. She wasn’t afraid that what they had was temporary.

Deja vu overcame her. In a flicker, so did nausea and anxiety. Like the world was ending.

Alphys ate more of her fries. The feeling died away.

…It was a given that anger would emerge at least in a tiny way. Her pupils could thin like cat-eyes or the jumping nerve in her jaw could tighten or she could break something, or she could work out harder than her usual daily 6:20 A.M routine instructed.

But maybe she would be angrier if she knew she was dancing around the issues for it to emerge later? Undyne was a solution-oriented person. She was always full of suggestions. Problems just _couldn’t_ exist in her presence or in her mind. She was almost obsessed.

About her guilt: _You shouldn’t feel bad about your past! It’s over now. You can make up for it all, Alphys. You already have._

About her self-consciousness: _You have to convince yourself that you’re more than people’s opinions about you!_

About the plague of her nightmares: _That’s not fair, Alphys. You **never** deserved that to happen to you._

No matter how bad Alphys felt, Undyne urged her to move forward when she looked over her shoulder into the past.

Alphys turned the engine on. The car rumbled underneath her. She was going to say that she didn’t want to go on this vacation and that they would deal with the problem as it arose. _Together._ Together was better.

Twenty minutes had passed when she walked through her front door.

She then realized that today was a Bad Brain Day. Her mood had been kind of sour since this morning, and she’d been too wired to act on it, even though she knew, intellectually that she needed to. She turned on her phone and looked at the time: _5:00._

Her day was already dead. She hadn’t looked over her notes, started on her letter to the Principle…and she was so burnt out. She walked into the living room and slumped onto the couch. She could hear her wife bustling in the kitchen only a few steps away but absolutely did not want to confront her.

“Undyne…” She said. Undyne poked her head from the kitchen, an apron dangling from her neck, “can we talk for a sec?”

“Sure!” She chirped, vaulting over the cough back stand, “what’s up?” Alphys took a deep breath.

_…Orrr_ maybe she shouldn’t. What if this was Undyne’s way of telling her she was tired of her, her quirks? That she’d be taking advantage of her kindness for far too long and needed a break? Had she even taken the time to consider Undyne’s feelings at all?

Alphys had never had someone close die before—

Another wash of Deja Vu. _No. That wasn’t true._ She’d just never been alone before. Alone was scarier. _Alone_ was to be without hope and useless.

“ _OkaysoIwasatworktodayandI’vebeenhavingareallybadday,andwhenyoutoldmetogoonvacation,itreallyhurtbecauseitkindoffeelslikeyoudontwanttodealwithmebecauseyourdad’ssick?_ ” It all came out.

Undyne blinked owlishly. “Um… could you…repeat…that?”

Alphys slammed her head into the couch cushion, pointed nails burrowing into the cushion. Her head flew up, eyes wide, “I don’t want to go vacation!” She blurted. “I do _so badly_ without anything projects to work on, Undyne, and without _you_ … I know it’ll only be a week, but I just don’t know if I can handle it! A-and I know that Gerson’s sick, so how could I really _enjoy_ —”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Undyne said, her eye bulging, “what…who said that Gerson was sick?”

Alphys felt a lump in her throat.“…Asgore did…when I called him at work today. _I’m sorry!_ I know how much you hate it when I ask stuff behind your back…” She stopped herself there, swallowing an explanation. Undyne didn’t need one, and Alphys deserved her unadulterated anger.

Undyne looked stricken. She pulled a face torn between guilt, worry, and agitation. Her lip writhed under her teeth. Then, she sighed and drew little circles with her finger into the fabric of the couch.

“Alphy, I dunno what Dad told you, but… Gerson is sick. Like, _really, really_ sick. And that… that makes me want to punch something! A lot of somethings. And scream! And break stuff! …I _was_ gonna say so, but after today’s nightmare…” She trailed off, eyes flickering to Alphys’ before her gaze returned to her lap, “I didn’t want to admit that I’m worried. I’m… maybe he’s gonna _f-word_ , and I won’t have one of my _dads_ anymore, man. And…I don’t think you need to be around that. Around _me_ when…I might have to start taking care of him, so… I’ve been looking into this ski resort place. It’s pretty cold—I know how much you hate the heat— and there’s plenty to do, and… could you go? Alphys? _Please.”_ She peered up at Alphys, sulky and sad.

Alphys stared back.

Undyne was explicitly asking her for a week… but it really depended on how long Gerson was sick for, didn’t it? Undyne was really just asking her to avoid her when she thought about it.

Could she handle that?

Undyne was her everything…but Undyne knew how much she depended on her, and if she was asking _this_ of her, she must be really worried. And confident in her suggestion. In Alphys’ ability to cope.

“Okay,” Alphys whimpered, placing a hand on Undyne’s knee, “and I’m sorry about Gerson. I didn’t…” She was about to flub the truth, there. It wasn’t that the situation didn’t imply that he could possibly be Not Okay, she just didn’t want to think about it at all.

Undyne’s face broke into a smile and she wrapped Alphys in a massive hug, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. She felt her face go red as she pulled Alphys into her lap.

“Thanks, babe,” She smiled down at her, and the glint in her eye made the flirtatious look seem hungry. Alphys blinked and the look was gone. She was looking towards the kitchen when she said, “I’ll have dinner ready in a sec! I know how tired you are, after all!” She rocketed off the couch.

Alphys gingerly touched the spot where her kiss landed. It was still warm when she stepped outside into the coldness, the house far too stuffy for her at the moment, and sat on the wooden steps that lead directly to their screen door.

She could do this. She could! A surge of confidence flowed through her. Something told her she’d weathered much, much worse than this. As she sat, a silhouette across the street rose. Both it and Alphys paused. It was fairly dark now, and she had to squint to make out what it was.

It had a shiny, round nose, pointed ears, and a tail that stood erect. Deja vu tingled her brain. She clenched her eyes closed, trying to remember where’d she’d seen that dog before…

_She had a pen in her claws, writing a letter to the human—she didn’t know Frisk’s name yet—when she stopped. She rubbed at her eyes. The last word she’d written… ‘cowardly’. She thought to herself, ‘cowardly’… but easier. Wouldn’t it be easier if she just disappeared?_

_Then she felt something brush against her legs. She jumped a few feet into the air. When she looked down, it was a fluffy, white dog. The sight of another dog monster made her want to throw herself in the lava._

_Instead, she stuttered out, “O-oh. A dog…” Something about the way it weaved between her legs felt off, but she ignored it. She bent over to pet it, and it rumbled. It literally vibrated under her hand._

_The dogs… they were so brave. They put the lives of their loved ones in her hands and remained strong for each other. She could see how they stood, rigidly, like they were trying not to break down in front of her._

_She remembered what Doggo had said to her when she asked why she didn’t visit—when she wasn’t afraid to open the door— with everyone else._

_“The last thing I said to her… was that she… she was a quitter. For retiring. That responsibility was more important than family,” His voice cracked as he spoke about one of his fallen dog brethren, “I was so wrong, Alphys… and now it’s too late. And they don’t get it. They don’t get why I don’t talk about her, they don’t get why I don’t visit with them.”_

_The next time she saw them together, Doggo **was** with him, his tail tucked in between his legs, but his head held high. She remembered the looked they’d shared, vividly._

_“If he could do it…” She muttered, “..so can I.” She finished her note._

_Almost the same dog_ , she thought as the porch light came on in the house across from the street. The dog ran. The dog would have been identical, if not for the single, gray spot on its shaggy face.


	2. Day ?: Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 8/17/2020: Unitalicized Frisk's dialogue, added dialogue tags, made minor corrections (spelling, small detail continuity, ect.,)

Alphys let out a small groan as she was pulled into reality. She rolled over, away from Undyne's hand, and grappled for a blanket that wasn't there.

“C’mon, get up… it’s morning, Alphy,” Undyne said, voice raspy, and crackling like a campfire. She sat up and looked on blankly, “Alphys. You have to be there at _noon_.” 

She rose from the dark green suave couch and her hand reflexively rose to shield her eyes. The tips of the three swords above the television usually caught sunlight like shattered glass… directly into her face. But it was too dark for that.

“What time is it?” Alphys mumbled. She turned around in a circle, scanning the now-vacant living room with its large, rectangular windows and white walls. The only thing of relative importance was that the coffee table had some Chinese old take-out on top.

Her feet led her into the kitchen, claws pinching the chopsticks and the plastic. Her eyes darted around, taking note of the cracked window, the weird smell, the loose knob on the stove… They seemed such glaring problems now, after months of not bothering to care. She wanted to stop to correct them. Badly. Her eyes settled on the window sill where there was an orange-red pot with a little dish at the bottom.

She stopped to brush the back of her hand across the stiff leaves of the snake plant. She even touched the dirt and decided that Little Alphys was a little dry. With a flick of her wrist, the faucet was on and she took a cup from the cabinet above the window.

Undyne _loved_ Little Alphys. When they first got it— _her_ , she asked playfully if she should be making funeral plans. There was a… daresay, a _determined_ glint in her eye that made the smile slip from her face, “No way. It can’t take care of itself, so it’s up to _me_!” Then its name was Little Alphys.

That was a couple of years ago, back in Monsterville, when the loss of her old position as captain was still fresh, and she threw herself whole-heartedly into her routines. At the memory, Alphys’ eyes flickered to the stove clock: **5:45 A.M.** In fifteen minutes, she would commence her daily workout. An hour after that, she would typically water Little Alphys… or, no, it was Friday. She watered the plant every other Saturday.

She felt her shoulders slump a little, and she felt her stomach twist in on itself. Typically, Fridays were date nights, where Undyne would purr, “There’s only room for _one_ Alphys today", into her ear. “Date night” used to be a tennis match of “let’s agree to go somewhere!” And then: “Anywhere you want to, Undyne!” And suddenly she was almost _always_ picking, unless it was somewhere really, really special. Undyne was both wonderfully predictable and spontaneous in her own right.

…Except she hadn’t be exactly predictable, had she? She was sending Alphys away because… she couldn’t handle her.

No, that wasn’t fair to Undyne. She wasn’t the problem, Gerson’s sickness was.

_Fallen monsters. Crisis._

Alphys realized the tall cup was overflowing with water onto her hand. In her groggy mind, the distance between the sink and the bottom of the cup was not far. She let go to pinch the bridge of her nose, and her brain was suddenly exploding with a shrill noise as it shot through her like a gunshot. She flinched, turned off the faucet with both hands. Another noise, the metallic clatter of thin metal wire, made her she realized she had dropped the take-out.

She felt something resonate in her chest cavity, and claw itself up her throat with sharp claws, as if it were parting weeds. A shaky sob burst out of her. She looked down at her own claws. They were shaking.

She didn’t dream last night. She made sure to stay up until the T.V screen seared images into her retina, until she slipped into blackness. But she remembered the collar shoved into the back of her closet with her named carved into a golden bone. She _felt_ as today’s looming threat took an old, old scab by the fingernails and reveled as the crust separated from the skin in bloody strings and then she got to see the deep wound.

Hugging herself, she made her way to their bedroom.

Undyne was sitting on the bed with her arms crossed when she arrived at their bedroom. She glanced up to Alphys, ear-fins perking, and she sat up straight. She automatically rose an arm before she had even sat down to wrap around her. She seemed completely at ease until she felt claws in her clothes and Alphys shuddered. She felt Undyne bristle.

“I’m sorry!” Alphy gasped, “I-i’m sorry for G-gerson being sick! And I’m sorry that you’ve been sad lately, and I’m sorry for being upset! I’m s-sorry, I don't mean to make it worse-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry--” Everything she had been thinking these past days came out like a bursting dam.Her cheeks burned, her brain was filled with cotton. Fuzzy heat.

“Alphys, _breathe_ ,” Undyne commanded maternally as she pulled Alphys to her. There was a couple of minutes where they both listened to Alphys shaky cries before Undyne felt it appropriate to speak, “I’m _fine,_ Alphys. Gerson is _fine_. He’s a strong guy… he’s… he’s a strong guy. The strongest.” Alphys sat up and swiped at her face.

“B-but I’m leaving! You’re sending me away?” She said, hating how her voice was like a knife to the ears.

“Only for a little! _”_ Undyne ran a claw through her hair. It dangled lifelessly from her shoulders, “and it’s for _your_ sake, Alphys! You know how I get when I’m stressed! I get single-minded, and _then_ I get pissed as hell! And that’s! That’s not my a-game! I want to be _waifu_ material!” She smiled down at her, but it looked wonky.

Alphys slipped from the bed and fell to her hands and forearms. She felt Undyne’s quick weight rise from the bed in alarm as she ran her claws until she retracted herself from its underside. It was a wooden box. It fit in Alphys’ palm easily and she held it up to her like an offering. She looked to Undyne through blurry vision and sniffed. Undyne's expression hardened, and she slowly sank to the bed again, as if Alphys had her at gunpoint.

She resumed her spot on the bed again. “It’s broken…” Alphys said. She looked to Undyne, who was staring out the window, sitting like a puppet with its string cut.

“I know,” She said flatly, and her hair dangled in front of her face, hiding her expression.

“ _Are you okay_?” Alphys said, over pronouncing the words.

“I’m _fine,_ ” Undyne said, eyebrows knitting together. Looking up at her face and then the box.

“What about…” Alphys stopped herself.

Undyne exhaled heavily. “I broke it by accident,” She folded her hands in her lap diplomatically, and she took another breath, her whole body relaxing.“But it’s fine. Gerson can fix it, later.”

Alphys had commented on the box a couple of weeks ago, and she had said more-or-less the same thing. But now… it had context. Undyne didn't _neglect anything_. But Alphys had the feeling that if she pressed, she would find that Undyne _would_ actually pull away, and her fears would be realized.

“I should call Gerson, shouldn’t I?” She said instead, quietly.

“ _No_?” Undyne said, voice still soft but incredulous. She repeated herself, but firmer, “ _No_ , you don’t have to call him. ...Heh, I don’t think he’s bored enough to fix the box, anyway.” She shot a watery smirk her way. Alphys wasn’t thinking about the box, but…

“Okay,” Alphys said, and another silence drifted between them, “do you want me to fix the music box, then?”

The sides of her mouth tilted upward, and her eyebrows turned upward. “You would do that for me?” Her eye flickered down to her claws.

“If you want me to.”

“I’d love that.” She leaned over and kissed Alphys on her forehead.

“You’re warm…” Alphys sighed quietly. When Undyne didn’t respond, she said, “…tell Gerson I said hi.”

Undyne nodded stiffly.

Alphys eventually removed herself and walked over to her closet, pushing aside some old shoeboxes for the upmost bottom one. Alphys scrubbed her face with her claws before she pulled the shoe box and placed it in her lap.

There was an awkward pause before the fish monster asked, “What’s that?”

“Um… like a time capsule.” She muttered, rubbing her neck.

Undyne hummed tunelessly and reached inside. She picked up the note as Alphys looked on nervously.

Her slitted pupil shifted over the paper, and her face turned red in slow motion. “OooOOOOOH MY _GOD_! You KEPT this?” She slapped a hand to her forehead at the same time as a manic smile appeared on her face.

“Your love letter meant a lot to me.” Alphys giggled, relieved. She continued slowly, “ _I kept it_ because I wanted you to know that I love you a lot! _I kept it_ … because you made me realize…when you weren’t mad at me for l-lying? That you _loved_ me! You made me realize I _was_ a good person. But being a good person didn’t m-mean never making a mistake… it meant…knowing… you could afford to be a screw-up sometimes. A-and you mean the world to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. So… _I_ want to do what I can to help you.”

 _Even if I don’t like it,_ Alphys’ mentally tacked on at the end.

The playful crease in her expression disappeared and Undyne smiled sheepishly, “Okay, Alph.” She said, her voice strong. “We’ll call every day. 7:00 A.M sharp.” It sounded like a command, so Alphys nodded.

Alphys’ eyes flickered to the time, a half-hour past six.

Alphys scrambled for her keys and for once, Undyne didn’t have them ready for her. Another ten minutes were lost before Alphys finally hopped in her blue mini cooper. 

“I _love_ _you_ ,” Undyne said, running a hand over Alphys’ frills. She said it like the words were ravishing to her. She loomed above Alphys, seeming less imposing in an off-white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. She brushed her hair out of her face.

“I love you too,” Alphys said, realizing that she had stopped breathing, "and you look super hot with your hair like that!" She added, smiling wryly. Her trade-mark ponytail had been occasionally absent for a couple of weeks now. She had rushed off to work with a rubber band on her wrist a number of times..

She surpassed the urge to ask Undyne is she was okay again.

She watched her rear-view mirror longingly as the car glided forward, and Alphys jutted a thumbs-up out the window in response to Undyne’s checklist of: _KEEEEEEYYYS? WALLLLEEETTT? GOT EXTRA MONEY??_ Then: _HAVE A GOOD TIMMMEEE!_ Alphys watched as Undyne padded down the driveway into the road and the details faded as the distance grew.

She leaned back into her chair and sighed.

The houses rushed by in a blur until her neighborhood was an outline of buildings. She drove until she reached Leedon City, not as bustling at this time of the year or this time of the day, for that matter.

Memories floated through the streets, like ghosts, and she could see Undyne and herself leave the _Scoops!_ Ice Cream parlor they visited long ago. A little girl had run up to Alphys with the new bearded lizard she’d bought and asked her if she could talk to it.

Alphys smiled and looked somewhere else.

Alphys and Undyne were at a shop for beach stuff: towels, swimsuits, a surfing board, a body board, and umbrella. Behind them, Toriel, Papyrus, Asgore, Frisk and _Sans_ —

Alphys’ eyes watered again, her stomach slicked as a few tears spilled out without her permission.

She _was_ going to call Gerson, even if it killed her. And even more than that, she _was_ going to have a good time. She _was_ going to feel good.

She had to, for Undyne’s sake.

~*~

It was a few exhausting hours later before she saw a familiar of a mop of brown hair bobbing up and down the sidewalk. Alphys took a double-take and turned the radio down to see better.

“FRISK!” She gasped, and they looked up in surprise, “OVER HERE, FRISSSK! DO YOU NEED A RIDE?”

Their head whipped around, and their eyes widen in surprise. They nodded furiously.

Alphys stopped at a red light, intending to make a u-turn further down the street, but Frisk sped across the walkway and into the passenger seat just as the light turned green again. Cars _flew_ past them.

“I was going to stop!” She gasped out, clutching her chest. Dazed, the two of them lurched with the car as she stomped on the gas pedal. “w-what if one of those cars hit you?” She suddenly thought about the lasers in Hotland.

Alphys stopped at the school’s parking lot just a couple of miles ahead. She turned, they grappled Alphys in a hug. She had to lean so far the seatbelt dug into her sternum.

_"_ What’s up?" They grinned, eyes pinched in the corner.

“Nothing much! I’m on vacation,” Alphys said evenly. She looked over her shoulder, towards her home, and saw Mount Ebott as a tiny mound on the horizon. She’d only been driving a couple of hours and she already felt like she’d been marathoning.

_"_ Why? You never leave Leedon Beach, _"_ Frisk’s head tilted to the side.

“I k-know! I just wanted a little space from all the water,” Alphys said airly, with a watery smirk. She pulled out the ‘cool’ shades she kept in her car's sun shield and plastered them onto her face, “but I bet _you’re_ learning a lot of essential things in school! Like… how to flirt with cute girls? How to kiss cute girls? How to _date_ cute girls?”

When Frisk only replied with a flat look, Alphys gasped, “Oh my god! I was just joking!! Please tell me you’re joking, I don’t want to have to tell Toriel!”

Oh God. Toriel. As cold as it sounded, Frisk’s company only fractionally outweighed the heavy oppression the woman seemed to damn her with every moment she was near. She would find out she knew, and then there would be hell to pay.

_No,_ Frisk signed, holding out a plastic bag from a nearby grocery store, _just helping out a friend_. Alphys took it from them, and their expression juxtapositioned into mortification.

There was a receipt, and the bag jangled with spare change, and then… a plastic, soft square.

“Maxi-pads?” Alphys muttered, “…what?” Frisk shook their head reverently, cheeks dusted pink.

"It’s a human thing! You don’t wanna know _,"_ they cringed so deeply the wrinkles in their face looked like trenches.

Alphys nodded slowly and leaned over to give Frisk a kiss on the forehead, “Well… if you say so.” Living as Frisk in their, however brief, tutelage was a horrific experience. She often stared up at the ceiling at night wondering if she’d gained too much, and if _this_ was is the curse of knowledge.

_"_ So, why are you REALLY going on vacation? _"_ Frisk smiled innocently, kicking their legs excitedly.

“W-why do _you_ think I’m going on vacation?” Alphys said, mentally dying on the inside. Frisk was one to get involved in _anything_ until they knew every single detail _and_ how to fix it, even if it warranted breaking a few rules. Even if it warranted Toriel’s crippling disappointment.

_"_ Are you going to find Papyrus? _"_

Alphys blinked.

Out of all the responses, she expected them to be more on-the-nose than that. That maybe through Toriel and Asgore’s rare—even rarer now that he’d stopped working at the school—correspondence had tipped them off to the… the situation at hand.

They said, "I’m worried. Sans still doesn’t know where he is. _"_

Alphys swallowed. “Has he m-messaged you recently?” They shook their head. “Me neither.”

They perked. "I invited Sans to dinner, though! I can ask mom if you can come. And she’s letting dad come, so I think she would let you come, too! _"_

Alphys cringed. After earlier this week… she wasn’t sure if Asgore _wanted_ to see her. He was a good man, but he was a little firmer nowadays. Which wasn’t bad, he pointed out to her how much she called just to _complain._ It left a bad taste in her mouth, made her stomach squirm.

He seemed to tell her exactly what she wanted to hear, and that’s what she found so appealing. Like a liar, afraid of reality's truth. She shoved the thought away.

At the same time, Alphys' heart soared. But then she checked the time.

“No…no… I can’t,” Her heart broke at their down-trodden expression, “I have to check-in at this cabin by noon, and its a couple hours away, still, and traffic… by the time I got there and came back, it’d probably be too late…but you’ll tell Sans that I say hi, won’t you?”

Frisk sighed, head falling.

Alphys swallowed, sympathetic. She knew that sense of longing all too well. She also knew that they were kind of humoring each other, to think that _he_ would actually show up.

“We’ll try to hang out later… promise,” She said, and they smiled at her sadly, “l-love you…”

_"_ Call me after school _,"_ they signed with extra emphasis, "I want to know how your “vacation” goes! _"_

She watched fondly as they went. She’d probably be getting an earful of disappointment tonight.

~*~

**LAVENDER TOWN SKI RESORT UP AHEAD**

She saw the message from _God himself_ as she spotted one of those shifting electronic signs, just as it changed to a different ad.

“ _Finally!”_ She squealed aloud. The mountain range had grown progressively larger in her vision until it completely engulfed the horizon. She was consumed by more forest for a couple of miles as she turned right at the light of the tiny, bustling Lavender Town.

The thick trees thinned out suddenly, and she looked up, and up and up until her nape and skull kissed. She could make buildings further above, where it looked like the mountain evened out.

She was right. The road flattened out into a strip and what appeared to be a sub- town, but more or less completely comprised of small stores. She drove to the end of the “town” where there was a massive parking lot, dawned her warmest clothes in the haven of her car, and stepped out into the open.

The first thing she noticed was the air, which lacked the salt that settled heavily into her nasal cavity. This air seemed to expand and stab at her lungs, like water freezing over, before melting on the exhale. Her tail swished behind her anxiously, whipping at the back of her legs. She lugged her suitcase from the trunk and trudged her way towards the check-out/check-in building.

Once inside, she was hit by a wave of heat that made her want to shed her layers.

The room was a mix between a check-in and a souvenir shop. Little stands of CDs, asking masks, toilet paper, chips, and drinks surrounded her as she approached the counter. The fluorescent lights made her brain buzz.

A well-dressed man was ahead of her, and the woman spoke animatedly to him, hands barely subdued, her tone pitchy.

He turned around— she waved to him— and he dropped his soda and a pair of keys. Raven black bangs curtained his right eye, so he gaped at her with only the one before his gaze snapped away. His arms slapped to his sides and he exited with a gust of wind.

Alphys stared at his dropped items and picked them up, looking up as she realized that the woman was staring at her too.

“U-um… he dropped this.” She said lamely, placing the items on the counter.

Her eyes didn’t move from Alphys’ face.

“ _Excuse me_ ,” She said in her firmest voice, and the woman seemed to snap to attention. She snatched the soda can and the keys from the desk, “um… I have a cabin rented under ‘Alphys’? Ma'am?”

The woman was stiff and quiet as she nodded, and she could see her neck flex in a swallow. “I.D,” was all she said, and Alphys held it out to her.

She glanced over to the card in her hands and typed something on the computer. She produced a pair of keys from a drawer and spat out “Cabin 36.” Alphys nodded and slipped out without another word.

The cabins were scattered around the resort, and so it took about twenty minutes of venturing through a sprawling, mini-city before she found it.

The house was warm, and that’s about as far as she got as it came to descriptions before she made a bee-line for the bedroom.

She threw her suitcase on the bed, watched it bounce before she threw herself on its side. She pulled out her phone and sent Undyne a text.

_Alphys: made it_

She nuzzled her vanilla-smelling pillow and sighed heavily.

She would call Frisk and Undyne later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if...you leave a comment...down below... aha ha, just kidding.. unless...?  
> 
> 
> In all seriousness, I am super excited for this series! If you re-read my old fic, Caudal Me, I've kind of recycled the premise... so you can consider this as some sort of reboot. And a long time coming, too. I forgot how much I love Undertale fanfic.
> 
> This chapter was tricky, though, 'cause after I wrote the initial draft, I had to go back over the outline and tweak a few things... and then go back to make sure the characterizations were okay... which took almost two weeks. I expect that the third chapter will probably take about as long. Thank you for reading <3


	3. DAY 1: The Wind is Howling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys has a bad time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: I eXpeCt thAt tHe thIrd chApter wiLl prObaBly tAke abOut As lOng tO PoSt.  
> also me: *posts 3 months later*
> 
> Thank you for being patient with me! This chapter was hard, but as usual... I'm not done yet. I also thank Cabbypotato and Bismuth_209 for helping me beta this. Thank you!!
> 
> **CW: What could be described as a panic attack w/mild description depersonalization(?), plus being reminded of traumatic experiences. Yay. Please keep the tags in mind as well! LMK of any other tags/warnings.**

Alphys rolled over, pulling Undyne closer to her. She was soft. She expected to feel like she was lying on a scaly washboard— but that was married life for you. For now, she was floating in half-consciousness, heartbeats pulsing in sync. When she and Undyne moved into together, Alphys had been most ecstatic about sleeping together _in the same bed_. Her sleep schedule had been okay, if not a tad abysmal. She did not sleep those first days on the surface, and those first days were blurry. But they were so bright at the same time. Alphys uncurled, and stretched so she could entwine their legs...

Alphys pushed herself up, blinking widely as the realization set in.

“Oh…” Her voice rang through the silence of the cabin and the revelation plucked her heart. She sat up in bed.

The room was much smaller than her bedroom at Leedon Beach, her house in which there was no lack of white, or gleam, steel, or glass. A staple in her modern-style home. She had the bare necessities here, a bed a few steps in front of her doorless doorframe, and a sunroof so the afternoon sun could bake her. In other words, verwhelmingly cabin-like. Of course...she leaned over the edge of her mattress and touched the walls to ground herself as a deep sense of wrong rushed her heart as if it were her blood. Alphys swung her scaled legs over the side of the bed and plucked her phone off the nightstand.

She opened her contacts, and stopped to take in the photo beneath the words “Undyne :3”. Undyne sat with her hands steepled under her chin and her black, cat-like pupils were circles, as if she were watching a crime show and not _Spirited Away._ She swiped up, praying for a notification from her wife, but she found Frisk’s texts waiting for her instead.

Sent 1 hour ago

l’il_bit: nobody came

l’il_bit: :(

l’il_bit: having fun tho

Sent now

You: aw, im sorry ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

You: that sounds sad ♥♥♥♥

You: nothing from sans either?

l’il_bit: no

l’il_bit: he’s been kind of like this since papyrus and 

l’il_bit: i guess he’s been stressed out y’know

l’il_bit: i feel bad, like i have to do something

You: not gonna try to find him yourself are you? (ㆆ_ㆆ)

l’il_bit: i’ve been thinking about it

l’il_bit: but he said he wanted to be left alone

l’il_bit: so he’d probably be upset 

l’il_bit: even if I promised not to tell anyone

l’il_bit: I miss riding in the car with him :(

l’il_bit: he was fun

l’il_bit: and I miss going to the dinosaur exhibit

l’il_bit: do you think he’ll come home soon?

Alphys massaged her temple. This sounded like a conversation that they needed to have with Toriel, someone who understood kids and had the experience not saying the wrong thing that would stick with them forever and cause them to dive head-first into self-destructive habits or something…

You: I think he left to be more independent

You: and that he misses you

You: and when he’s ready

You: he’ll come back

You: but if I see him I’ll tell him to call ok (ง︡'-'︠)ง or else

l’il_bit: okay…

l’il_bit: I just hope he’s happy up here

l’il_bit: he’s meant to be 

l’il_bit: the surface was a place where EVERYONE is supposed to be happy

l’il_bit: …

l’il_bit: maybe not everyone

l’il_bit: not everyone got the chance

You: I think he’s happy

You: and do you mean Sans?

You: I don’t think its fair to say 

You: that he never got to be happy

You: he’s just worried about his brother

You: and sad ( ˘︹˘ )

l’il_bit: come over soon, ok?

l’il_bit: ‘cause there’s people 

l’il_bit: care about you a whole

l’il_bit: lot. さようなら!

You: FRISK

You: HOW DO YOU DO THAT

l’il_bit: =) 

l’il_bit: come over and i’ll think about telling you

You: LOL 

You: love you (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

She sighed. She remembered the days she spent plugging math equations for the core, and Sans, there by her side as her physicist. They were a team and a damn good one at that. After that, well, she could easily say that their work was literally timeless. What would he say if he was here? Something about bad friends and good drinks, maybe.

Alphys opened her suitcase and retrieved a white long sleeve, thermal tights, thermal socks, yoga pants, one of Undyne’s hoodies, a red scarf, a beanie, and her pair of boots. Once she had them on, she twirled in the bathroom mirror, eyes roaming over her form. There was a large hump on her backside because her tail also needed a place under all her layers, but she thought she looked okay. It would have been nice to come from the cold and stresses of Interaction(TM), to strip her winter layers and climb into bed with her wife, who’d probably be warm and sweat from working out. The snowflakes would drift by the window, making their troubles and the real world muffled and far away…

She stepped outside.

could see a few other cabins through the leaves of the small trees that bordered around her cabin, dusted in snow. The layout reminded her of her neighborhood without roads, each house sectioned off by person-sized hedges. She glanced behind and realized that she and the row that her cabin comprised of had a clear view of woods that sprawled out before her. She squinted and imagined that she could see Mount Ebott.

She continued along the concrete path, the roar of car engines and conversations growing louder until the trees disappeared from her vision and she arrived to see a traffic light turn green and cars zoom by accordingly. She turned right into a stream of people and squeaked as she brushed shoulders with someone. They looked up from their phone and froze— mouth an ‘o’, eyes wide. She sped up and bumped into someone else and they had a similar expression.

She stepped around them and saw the entire sidewalk had turned into a snapshot of a busy morning. Alphys' feet were glued to the floor, and her heart hammered.

_They are looking at you they are looking at you THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU—_

She threw her gaze downward and pulled her beanie over her face and forced herself to walk. Once the crowd was behind her she could feel their gazes on her back and she broke out into a run and didn’t stop.She stepped into a pastel-colored building _please stop looking at me_ and her shoulder slammed into the glass and it flew open with a loud jingle. A wave of heat flooded the panting lizard, and with a wave of dizziness, she held her breath.

There were two people inside. She let the breath go once she realized nobody had bothered to look up: a tan person ahead of her on their phone and a bearded man with a beanie on his computer. Her eyes trailed the lines of the wooden planks that made up the floor and she smiled. The image of Frisk jumping from each bean, smiling, eased her a little.

Her hands itched for a cup to occupy them as she approached, head ducked, “U-uhm, hello,” Alphys said. The cashier turned around and her lack of shock stirred her resolve, “can I get a… a mint expresso a-and an egg-cheese bagel sandwich?” They nodded and turned away.

She had the delicious, warm, steaming cup in her hands for a few seconds when she realized her wallet wasn’t in her pocket.

It happened in slow motion. She had the coffee in the cup sleeve in hand and then she realized there was empty air in her pocket. And then another, and another and another. Panic set in. She only had so many pockets, and the woman was looking at her.

“S-sorry, it’s got to be in here s-s-somewhere!” She put the coffee on the counter-top, shrugged off her jacket and tied the sleeves around her waist. There was no way that this situation could be any worse—

“Hello,” A strong, unwavering voice said behind her. She didn’t turn, and Alphys steeled herself. Anyone with a brain cell could see that she was stalling and she did not have any money, and she was going to get thrown out for stealing—

“Here.” The woman stepped around and put twenty dollars on the counter. The cashier smiled and nodded, placed the receipt on the counter. The mystery woman noticed the label as Alphys gaped, “Y’ordered expresso hot chocolate! It’s my favorite, y’know.” She said, giving her a nod and she lifted her own cup in a toast.

“Th-thank you s-s-so much!” Alphys took the coffee and bagel in one hand each, reeling, “When I get my wallet, I’ll—I’ll pay you back, promise!”

The mystery woman smiled at that, a twinkle in her eye that reminded her of Undyne. “Don’t stress. Could tell that you’re new, and moving here can be a bit rough.”

_Yeah! A bunch of people were staring at me! What the fuck?_ But Alphys didn’t speak, she gave an enthusiastic “mmm-hmm!” and a nod as she bit into the bagel and downed a mouthful of coffee. Since nobody was ordering, they stood just right of the cashier.

She smiled wider at her response, stared straight ahead. “If you couldn’t tell…we don’t get a lot of monsters around here, y’know. There was a couple a while ago,” She cringed, “…but it didn’t work out, and that’s all the exposure people up here got. So…let’s hope your stay is going okay.”

Alphys nodded, swallowing another bite.

“People may think otherwise, but I think it’s kind of cool, being a monster and all? Like… doing magic? Where can a gal get some?” She said.

Alphys perked, rising from her bagel. “Of course! Uhm, how else would we have—monster ended up in the Underground in the first place?”

“So, why can’t I… dunno… blow up shit with my mind?” She said, leaning towards her slightly. The lady took another sip, looking from behind the rim, sat up straighter and turned towards the storefront.

Alphys giggled, a shrill, high sound, “Well… the way that magic works—for humans at least— is they… they borrow ambient magic from—from the earth and the air and stuff… but that magic isn’t…isn’t usually concentrated enough for the human SOUL to cha-channel it. When Monsters were ban-banished, it actually became a lot rarer be-because the average human couldn’t just…m-monsters directly cause a lot of the ambient magic in the air, you see…

“And that amount of exposure usually resulted in more sensitive SOULS, which we don’t really know a lot about, but I’ve actually been around other professors who have been trying to get grants for further r-research! It’s quite amazing, actually… in a few years, we should be seeing new magic casters i-in the human population… so I’ve been… I became…” Alphys finished lamely, “…sorry.”

“What? You guys are the reason I get to cast fireballs in a few years,” They laughed, even though Alphys was burning with the embarrassment, “M’ Valerian, by the by, or Vale.”

“Alphys,” She wrapped her tail around her coffee and held out her claw for her to shake. Valerian looked to her tail, the corners of her eyes pinching, “i-it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s a pleasure.” 

Alphys become lost in thought suddenly, “Um…but you’re just right about not getting a lot of monsters. I can tell.” 

Vale rolled her eyes, smile flat, “Don’t think about them too much. Jerks, all of them. They will learn to ignore you for the most part, trust me. Human nature.”

“Thanks,” Alphys said, “uh… if you wait here, I’ll get you that money I owe you…”

“Don't worry about it! You dunno how many times I wished people would pay for the stuff I couldn’t buy,” She licked her lips, eyes darting away as she shrugged, “I’ll be here tomorrow, so you can just pay then.”

“Y-yeah.” Alphys said, surprised at the amount of trust she was being shown. She was determined not to let her down. She put a hand to her chest over the heat that blazed inside like a thousand suns.

She marched back to her cabin and threw open the door, pausing in the doorway as the flurries danced around her and her scarf darted in the air, signifying her power. She didn’t bother with contacts. She typed in Asgore’s number from memory. She could do this! She was Alphys, wife of Undyne! The contour of anime!

The dial tone snapped her out of her frenzy of courage—no, idiocy. She hung up and dropped her phone, threw herself onto the couch cushion, _screamed._

She tried to keep herself busy for the next few hours, but surprised herself when she stepped onto the carpet—she could have sworn she was walking on concrete. When the sink dripped, she jumped and expected to see someone rising out of the basin. Her phone vibrated and she felt a jolt of terror, but she saw the weather report for gusty winds and realized--oh right. She was on _vacation._

All she was missing were the letters and the—

She clenched her fists at her sides to stop them from trembling. She surged forward and pulled her suitcase open again.

She dragged her laptop from where it sat in her suitcase and settled on the bed. She perked as she noticed the red badge on her email app and she traced her finger on the trackpad to click it. As she skimmed the subject line of the emails: assessments from the quarter, news articles, sales, spam… until a subject line caught her eye.

_Monster health crisis._

Alphys was typing a response to a teacher again, but the words were coming out clumsy: _Tjhanks_ for instead of _Thanks for_. She’d clicked away, but the afterimage was blazed in her retina.

_Monster health crisis_.

She held her hand out in front of her and saw that they were shaking a little. She pushed her laptop out of her lap and tried to focus on her breathing.

Maybe Undyne was right for keeping Gerson’s condition a secret for so long. Alphys had proven again and again that she wasn’t capable of handling stuff like this. Her own foolishness caused these mistakes in the first place. She looked at her email again.

_Monster health crisis._

The email was in her inbox and avoiding the problem fixed nothing. If it l bothered her, that meant …that she needed to get used to this. Bad things happened, even when you feel like everything is going alright.

_Monster health crisis._

Her cursor hovered over the email, but there was a voice in the back of her head. Undyne’s voice. She was telling her that she was the strongest monster she ever met. And the were Dogs’ telling her that they’re grateful that they were alive after all, and Mr. Snowdrake and snowing crying as they held Mrs. Snowdrake. Alphys closed out the browser, rubbing her eyes and her laugh rung out in the small house.

She felt the hot, saltine droplets spill down her knuckles and dribble onto her keyboard.

It dawned on her all that she had been for nothing! Undyne and her had were great at being, and saying nothing, and Undyne loved her because she was in love with who Alphys was. She’d been too worried the relationship had been coming undone based on the tense few days. Days. There wasn’t anything deal-breaking about a disagreement!

Alphys closed her eyes and imagined herself asking what Undyne’s day was like, what she was doing, what was she eating for dinner… Were there lots of people on the beach today? Was the sunrise pretty? As lovely as that sounded, Undyne had work to do. Alphys sat up and retrieved Undyne’s music box and went into the living room, lest she was tempted by her laptop again.

There were was no jingle as she took the box in her hand. She flipped it onto its back and tried to turn the key—nothing.

She tucked herself into the couch and flipped the music box over in her lap. Well… she supposed she wouldn’t be able to see until she opened the latch. A stupid oversight, but she hadn’t brought any of her tools and her claws were too big to shove one into the screws.

She sighed and opened the lid.

The box was an anniversary gift from Gerson and Asgore respectively, but Undyne had always referred to it as “Gerson’s music box”. Though, she suspected that Asgore had a larger hand in picking out the gift than he liked to admit.

_Love does not consist of_

_Gazing at each other_

_But in looking together_

_In the same direction._

_— Saint-Exupery_

The words were carved into the lid, and she wished she remembered the [melody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ZEWYLzQpA). She only remembered that the impression the song gave her, like even before you turned the key, the song was waiting to lift you up. It reminded her of a thousand tender, shared moments, and love, and safety.

She’d learned that Asgore would always be on her side, and she loved him for it. She’d learned Gerson’s expressed love was cryptic. If he’d extended such vulnerability her, she hadn’t puzzled that out just yet. She would repay that kindness....eventually.

She placed the box on the couch cushion. She would fix it. Then she’d get to text Undyne and tell her.

***

The sunlight dwindled —purple and orange had painted the skies around the time she met Vale— the full moon was out now.

Her nap had left her with an uptick in nervous energy, so she spent the large portion of her night hanging clothes on the closet rod in the bathroom and tucking them in the drawers underneath the T.V. She went into the bathroom to splash her face with water and saw how stiff she looked. The air smelled like acceptance and pine and carpet cleaner, a grim sense of finality.

At least it was peaceful.

The heater was probably more effective, but the fireplace seemed like a dark void in the room without a fire. She tore into the newspapers, picked up a log in one hand, and placed them in the fireplace. She struck a match and the edges receded like growing bite-marks, wavering flames climbing and rising until that part of the room was a beacon.

The crackling and popping of the fire must have been lulled her to sleep because she woke up to birds chirping instead of cars. She was about to drift off again when the melody caramelldansen caught her attention.

“Goooooood morning!” Undyne said, no doubt baring that toothy smile, “I hope you didn’t forget our morning phone-call!”

“No.” Alphys voice cracked the moment it was forced above a groggy whisper. She cleared her throat to pass off as a cough, but Undyne’s laughter was so loud, the speaker crackled.

“Aw, Alphys… what would you do without me?” She sighed like she had been holding a big breath, her voice looser than she’d heard it in weeks.

“Watch anime all day, like a big loser.” She grinned. 

“HA! Like we don’t do that already!” Alphys cupped her phone in both of her hands. We. She said ‘we’. “Anyway, how is the vay-cay going?”

“Vay-cay?” Alphys echoed, smoothing a hand over on of her frills.

“ _Vacation_ ,” Undyne over-pronounced, “you know what I mean!”

Alphys laughed, “Eheheheh, yeah. I do… well, it’s only been a day. There’s not much to tell—um. I met someone. A, er… a human named Valerian. I have to pa-pay her back for coffee today.” 

“Oh, yeah! It really has only been a day. Feels longer. But listen,” Undyne’s volume dropped so low it made Alphys shiver. How could she not? Her voice was so silky, “when you get back… you’ll be all mine.” Undyne couldn’t hear Alphys squeak over her cackling.

“Tease!” Alphys said, breathless. Her heart fluttered.

“You’re too cute!” was Undyne’s reply. They spoke for the next hour as if they were in person, and it felt like they spoke about everything—anything— and yet nothing at all. The tension that had filled her seemed to wash away with Undyne’s call.

“Well, I have to go,” Undyne said, shattering the illusion, “some poor sap has a stalker or something. Let’s hope they show up!”

“Oh,” Alphys murmured. Right. She was busy and Gerson was… right. She had forgotten that she was wasting time on her, “love you.”

Undyne’s response was, “Hey! Don’t sound so defeated!” But it sounded less to a playful demand and more like a deflated plea. “You’ll have my full attention tomorrow morning, just like this, okay? Love you!”

“Okay… bye—no, see you later.” Alphys said. She’d heard that goodbyes were too final. It was very poetic.

“See you!”

“See you!”

“I love you.”

“Love you too,” Alphys said. A beat of silence, “h-hang up first.”

“Okay!” Undyne said. The call ended.

Alphys willed the coil of disappointment to unravel in her chest so she could breathe and think and function. Now that the best part of her day had passed, the debt she owed to Valerian was so present in her mind that she considered going back to sleep. Like a robot, she went into her room and pulled on another outfit.

Before she slipped into her gloves, she sent a text to Valerian. 

_hey, friend_

Wait… that was too formal. She didn’t want to seem creepy.

_Hello, Valerian._

No… that sounded too cold.

_To whom it may concern,_

_Fuck, no, go back—_

_It’s me, the monster from the coffee shop, Alphys? (•◡•) /_

_I have your money, do you think you’d be able to meet at_

_the coffee shop again? (っ＾▿＾)۶🍸🌟🍺٩(˘◡˘ ) Thanks!! ( >‿◠)✌_

Then she reread it three times, pressed send, and cringed at what she wrote anyway. Oh well.

One path and street later, she tried to put her finger on why it seemed so empty. Then it dawned on her that it was 7 A.M. She stopped outside the store, cursing the day she was born and hoping she could just get sucked into a black hole. Her phone buzzed. She walked in as soon as she spotted Valerian through the glass, she looked up from her phone and her face brightened.

But she wasn’t alone. Alphys wasn’t looking at her.

The man next to her had the same eyes and hair color, but then the opposing features began. He had greasy hair, grayish skin, and a stained sweater. And to top if off, his eyes were in that familiar saucer-like shape, his jaw was clenched and his lips pressed into a line.

Valerian threw her arm in the air, waving and smiling so wide that her cheeks were dimpled. The man stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking away. His eyes were like pits.

“Alphys,” She held her hands like she was showcasing a trophy, turning profile. “this is my brother, Günther. Günther, Alphys.”

“H-hi, I’m Alphys.” Her voice cracked, and she held out her hand instinctively.

“I know.” He said lowly, his voice like the engine of an old car. When he went to shake her hand, she winced. Thankfully, he pulled away quickly. She stapled her fingers and looked to Valerian.

The three sat there in silence for a second, Alphys’ eyes darting between the two siblings until Valerian bumped her shoulder against her brother’s. “Mentioned you,” she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “since we don’t have a lotta Monsters around here. It’s notable, y’know.”

Alphys tried to inject cheer into her voice, saying, “S-so I’ve been told!” As she reached into her wallet, trying not to betray her haste, and passed over the bills.

“Ten bucks for two coffees,” Günther muttered, clicking his tongue disapprovingly.

“I a-agree!” Alphys blurted, “vacation spots are totally overpriced! All the, _uhh_ , time!”

“Oh, we _know_. We live here!” Valerian said, “good thing, too. Last place was a dump! Eh? Eh?” She nudged her brother with an arm again as he scowled. Alphys didn’t get the joke.

“You’re on vacation…” Günther said, tone so flat it sounded more like a statement. She saw the corner of his mouth twitch upward, “just got here yesterday? Leaving soon?”

“Yeah.”

“Y’haven’t been around the resort yet? Were ‘bout to head out.” Valerian said, and Alphys noticed that on the cup in her hand was written in sharpie: Hot chocolate latte.

“Um…the coffee place is the only place I’ve been to…” Alphys gestured to the room around her.

She smiled, “Oh, I love me some coffee. Can’t live without it. But we’re coming to the ski lift. It’s the only place worth going to because in the ski instructors are—” She fanned herself, pretending to swoon, and she giggled,“but also the skiing, I guess.”

Alphys bit her lip. On one hand, her brother made her skin crawl, but Valerian seemed nice enough… and saying no was rude after she bought her a coffee. Besides pissing off her friend, she would also have something else worth telling Undyne.

“O-okay. Maybe? Are you going now?”

“In a little. Hot chocolate first?” Valerian pulled out a card as Alphys pulled out a few dollar bills, and said “No, no, let me!” There was a glint in her eye as she ordered and the cashier passed the cup to Valerian’s free hand and she pressed it into Alphys’ palm. 

She stammered out a thank you and an image of her asking Vale-- one day--to watch anime at the cabin rose unbidden. How fun would that be? 

That’d be less fun if she thought she was using her for her money, though.

Valerian spoked animatedly, arm-and-arm with her brother as they made their way out the door. Alphys made to follow when she noticed that the hand Günther touched had blue chips on them. She ran a thumb over one and it smeared, like semi-dry paint. Ugh. She wiped her hand on her pants and trudged after them, catching the tail-end of Vale’s question.

“—vacation from? Alphys?”

“I make the curriculum for the university I work at!” Alphys puffed, slowing her pace once she made it to Vale’s side, “I’m—I’m designing the magic course for humans to take for…because…”

“Because humans’ll be able to cast magic soon!” Valerian chirped, looking up to her brother for approval.

“Finally.” He breathed, and his face seemed more relaxed.

“That’s right,” Alphys took a hearty sip of her coffee and took note of the direction they were going. They were heading up the street to where a white concrete building was situated. She could see the ski lift rising behind it, and felt her stomach clench.

“Are we going to have to go up there?” Alphys turned to them, pointing.

“How else are we supposed to ski?” Vale said. She winked.

Several minutes passed as they climbed up the stairs, entered a lobby filled a pool table, a T.V, and a handful of large sofas, before they climbed a second flight outside. A few people were already there, sitting down as the chair was literally sweeping them off their feet.

“U-um…thanks f-for…” She said as they approached, “but I—I’m not a fan of… I don’t like…my feet dangling…”

“Noooo!” Valerian whined, “Please? S’free! And there’s skis provided for you and everything… please?” Valerian had such big puppy dog eyes and she didn’t want to make her feel bad—

—and that’s how she found herself sandwiched between Valerian, knocking her knees to avoid touching her brother as the ground grew further and further away. Valerian was talking, but she’d lost track of the topic long ago. Was she talking about lipstick? Or… eating? Makeup and eating. Maybe about eating lipstick. Either way, Alphys found her mind began to wander once the beauty of the resort sunk in.

The land was flat, the mountains were beautiful and rugged. Some were gentle hills, and others seemed to slam dunk you straight into hell. She felt like she had walked straight into a nature documentary everywhere she looked.

It reminded her of her first day on the surface. What she had felt was strange and confusing and she felt so much! She had felt as if she was…missing time? But she knew that she’d have so much of it, that things were going to okay and that her problems were pathetically small.

But she was afraid. 

“Alphys… you okay?” Vale’s concerned voice cut through and she looked over, the wind blowing in her face.

“Y-yeah!” She said, blinking the tears away and wiping at her face, “I’m just thinking about home. It’s beautiful here.”

“Aww… homesick?” Valerian looked into the distance, “Can’t relate. First ‘home’ in a looooong time, right, Günther?”

“Shut up.” He uttered.

“It is pretty lonely without the o-others,” She sighed, “I miss them, and I miss my wife.”

“What’s your wife like?” Valerian said, bouncing in her seat.

“Oh, Undyne is… Undyne is the most beautiful, caring, adventurous, exciting person I’ve ever m-met in my life! I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s so g-great, and always looking out for me. I’m m-more like her pet, to be honest…”

Valerian and Günther looked at each other, exchanging smiles—at least, Valerian was smiling.

“Y’can call, right?”

“Yeah, but…um,” Alphys said. _I’d burden her while she’s caring for her dad. She doesn’t need my help. I don’t have anything to say._ “…I wanted to fix our—her music box and wanted it to be a surprise. Before I called. But I don’t have any tools, so…”

Valerian smiled wider, “Oh!! We have tools at home, don’t we?” She looked to Günther, who scowled.

“Oh, asking me for my tools, now, huh? Why don’t you ask _Pap_ —? He was cut off as the three of them lurched as the lift came to a halt.

“SHIT!” Günther blurted.

Alphys’ breathing picked up, and her heart rate went abysmal. They were maybe five feet in the air, but freezing to death was not a pleasurable way to die.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry!” Vale said, turning to the both of them, “It’s only a couple feet down. I’ll jump.” Alphys looked to her and wondered if she’d heard her right.

“Forget it, I got it, Günther slipped under the bar and was in the air for a few before he landed with an audible grunt in the snow below. She watched him trudge up the side of the hill, where the ski lift ended and look upward at a pair of wheels suspended in the by a pole. He wrapped his arms around the metal and began to shimmy his way up.

“I-is he allowed to do that?” Alphys leaned into Valerian’s ear.

“He used to be the mechanic for—“ She gestured to the ski left—“before the new guy showed up. But don’t mention it to him, he’s really bitter about it, as y’saw.” She whispered as she too slipped under the bar and fell the five feet from the chair onto the ground.

Alphys looked behind her and felt dizzy. She looked down, weighing her options…

“Ugh! The weather caused a voltage problem, probably… they’ll probably just trigger a transfer switch and activate the backup generator….” Günther growled.

“We wait, then? This seems like its under—“ Valerian put her hands on her hips.

He narrowed his eyes, “No. I’m perfectly capable of doing my job.”

“C’mon, Günther! I want to get skiing as much as everybody else, let’s just go! It’s fucking cold!”

“E-excuse me…”Alphys wheezed, clutched her knees and panted. The two's attention honed onto her as she rose her arm to get their attention.“Is…is… there anything… I can do to help?”

“Not unless you can power this thing…” He muttered.

“I c-could—” She shrugged, electricity crackling around her clasped hands. Valerian gasped, her eyes shining. Günther slid down.

“—sters and fucking magic,” He hissed, then gestured to the pole, “go ahead, then. Fix it.”

Alphys continued. “—but what about the…the emergency breaks? I don’t want to hurt—to short them out or anything—“

“I _know_ what I'm talking about,” He growled. Alphys only too a moment before the lightning jumped from her body to the pole, it climbed and lit up the snow in the vicinity. The entire ski lift lurched again and began to move as usual.

“Finally!” Günther said, throwing his hands into the air. Alphys looked to him wearily as he trudged away. Her wrist throbbed.

Valerian walked over and put a hand on her shoulder, staring after her brother. “Sorry about that. Doesn’t mean any harm. He’s touchy like that.” Alphys laughed nervously as she rubbed her wrist.

They followed Günther around an especially large rock, and there was someone in orange who appeared to be an instructor. The person stood next to a wooden rack of skis and ski poles. They held out their hand and Valerian and Günther produced a key with their cabin number on it.

“She’s with us,” Valerian said and the instructor nodded. “have you ever skied before?” Valerian asked, buckling her feet to her skis, and dawning googles.

“No.” Alphys whimpered, copying her.

“I teach the little kids to ski, so I’ll teach you!” She said, helping Alphys to her feet, placing two hands on her shoulders to maneuver her to the edge. Günther had already slipped off and she watched as he soared through the air like a winged devil.

“Ready?” Valerian looked up at the sky, and Alphys did the same. “I’ll only make y’go once, ‘kay?” She said.

“I’m s-s-scared!” Alphys said, latching onto Valerian’s arm.

“How? Y’been to a mountain!”

“INSIDE!” Alphys shrieked as Valerian pushed off.

“Pizza! French fry!” She shouted over her shoulder, moving her skis as she slid, “c’mon! The anticipation of falling is the worst part, but the actual fall isn’t that bad, promise. S’soft!”

“N-n-no, it’s snow, actuAAAAAAA—” Alphys yelped, her arms windmilling as she reached for Valerian, who leaned out the way and let Alphys careen down the hill.

“Fall! _Fall!_ ” Valerian yelled through wheezes.

Alphys fell onto her side and she fell into the snow, her vision nothing but white as she rolled for a few seconds. Valerian rode beside her and put her hands on her knees, laughing.

“Alphys—Alphys— are you—are you—?”

Alphys clutched her stomach. “Ahm—I-I’m never doing th-that a-again!” 

Valerian kept Alphys company as she scoot down most of the incline--and was disappointed she could not encourage her to try again-- until she was comfortable enough to ride the rest of the way down. The whole process took the better part of an hour, but it didn't feel that way. The girls were still laughing together as they reached the bottom.

Günther had already made his way down and was looking up at the sky with his skis in-hand as the duo approached. It was up close that Alphys realized that there was something different about him, that he looked less tense when he was covered with snow from the waist down. He threw a thumb over his shoulder and said, “We should head back.”

“Afraid of a little storm?” Günther looked to her flatly.

“Let’s go inside.” He said again.

“It’s not even cold! You’re just being a baby,” She turned to Alphys, “right, Alphys?” Alphys smiled.

“Didn’t you say it was cold earlier? You’re such a little bitch.” Günther said, rolling his eyes.

“That’s why they call me c-cold-blooded.” Alphys said, surprising herself and Valerian.

Valerian guffawed, clapping in glee. Alphys couldn't help but notice that Günther sneered. “Okay, okay! That was good—” when she was done laughing, “—but it’s barely noon! How can you be ready to head back now? ”

“There’s a blizzard warning from earlier this week. I’d rather not get caught in one.”

“Blizzard?” Alphys echoed.

“Hm. Yeah, you wouldn’t know what that is, would you?” Günther smiled.

“I d-do.” Alphys said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“They always exaggerate those. They’re never as bad as they make them out to be.” Valerian huffed.

“Because they veer off-course last second, but they’re always as bad as they seem.” Her brother said, and he turned his back to them.

“Whatever,” Valerian said, waving her hand, “are you done, Alphys? You don’t have to ski, again. We can just make a snowman or something.”

“W-well… I mean, it depends on you.” Alphys said, kicking the snow.

Valerian lifted her goggles, “How about… I treat us to breakfast? There’s a restaurant that’s not to far from the coffee shop. The tomato soup and cheese sandwiches are to die for. Especially if you’re lactose intolerant.”

“You’re a literal fucking child.” Günther said as Alphys asked, “A-are you lactose intolerant?”

Valerian raced in front of the two, spun around and laughed a wild laugh, “Both are excellent questions! Let’s find out, shall we?”

They didn’t have to walk far, it was the building over once they rode the ski, which by that point Alphys appetite was thoroughly roused. The restaurant was quaint, mostly comprised of many windows and wood. As they were waiting to be seated, Valerian said, “Mom works here so she’ll probably stop by and talk. She loves meeting new people, so I think she’d love to meet you.”

“Yeah, people.” Günther said, and Valerian nudged him with her arm.

Some time passed before a petite short woman with dark skin nodded to the three with a cheery smile, and led them to their tables, told them that their waitress would be with them shortly.

Valerian spoke again, “You mentioned it earlier, but was it like getting to the surface for the first time?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy…” Alphys looked to the windows and tried to imagine herself on that first day again. “It was scary, ‘cause the sky w-was so big! There was no ceiling, and everything was so open. Underground, it was super hard to get lost. You could wander around and…and eventually find your way back, but here…”

It was only when Alphys was able to compose herself again that Valerian asked, “What was Monsterville like?”

“Oh, it was super nice. At first, we all lived in tents and watched the stars… but ugh,” Alphys groaned, “after we got houses, the worst part was the p-plumbing. First, we didn’t have any, then when we did, the was… _Ick_. It was the worst, even now the water is gross. Not filtered at all.”

“Can’t relate,” Valerian cringed, “water is the industry around Lavender Town, so you gotta have a good rep to sell. I wonder why Ebott didn’t have good plumbing though, with all that gold…”

Alphys shook her head in disgust, “I don’t know. All I know was we had to wait for the city to extend the old pipes and turn on the old filtering system. If you visit Ebott, _never_ drink the tap in Monsterville.”

“It can’t be that big of a deal. You guys have magic.” Günther said, resting his chin on his hand.

Alphys sucked in a breath.“I mean… Monsters can still get sick from b-bacteria, even if our nervous systems are d-different.”

“See, Günther? Stop being so antagonistic.” Valerian said sharply. Alphys’ stomach dropped.

“Um…”

He bristled at that, “If Monsters didn’t want to deal with having bad water, they should have just made a town in the mountain and not moved in with the humans. That wasn’t our fault.”

“You’re acting as she did! Will you chill?”

“ _No,_ I’m tired of people saying poor monsters this and poor monsters that. You’re complaining about water when you’re all stupid rich and then get mad when you cut corners on spending? There are so many humans out there who’d love to have had even a drop of water to _drink_.” He banged his fist on the table, and the room around them grew quieter.

“What else were they supposed to do?” Her voice rose scandalously.

“Fix it themselves, instead of pretending to be _helpless_.”

“God, says you! Says the victim.”

He froze, his jaw clenched.

“I need to use the bathroom.” Valerian stood up and left, leaving Alphys and Günther with a room full of people.

_All their eyes were on her--_

“That goes for _you_ _too,_ ” He snarled, "And I'd watch your back if I were you. People don't _like_ monsters for that EXACT reason! Ask the last family that was here." and Alphys flinched. ~~_They were watching_~~ He stood, clutching his chair by the backrest and tossing it to the ground before he stormed out.

The room was dead silent and Alphys was shaking again.

_TheywerewatchingtheyarewatchingTHEYARELOOKINGATYOU—_

She hated being watched. She hated being watched. She hated being watched. It reminded her of the labs. She didn’t want to be at the labs.

A big fist squeezed her heart every time she woke up, sending her back _there._ She hoped that this was a dream, realized that nothing about the situation was a dream. This was real. All she could think about how she was guilty all the time. She didn’t think about tomorrow or her future. It didn’t exist—how could she have ever thought she would make it?

“—ay?” She said. “Do you want to go home?” Alphys jolted, her wrist in Vale’s hands. She felt dizzy.

“Wuh-what did your b-brother mean by other monsters that were here?” Alphys hated how choked she sounded as she stood.

“Huh? The Whimsun family?” She said. She looked tired as she took Alphys gently by the shoulders and began to lead her outside past all the people. The air was biting. “There was this family that…that moved into Lavender Town once, but they started getting a lot of death threats: bricks thrown through windows, graffiti. Eventually, they left.”

Alphys felt like she couldn’t breathe.“So it’s like… dangerous? L-like, there’s—people are—I’m not…I’m not getting—g-gonna— I’m not getting jumped, am I?” Alphys took in a deep breath, feeling her voice hitch. 

“Alphys, no!” Valerian said, “We have a bodyguard here, now, and he’s a monster too! His name’s Papyrus and he’s super tough. I promise you’re safe.”

“P-papyrus?” Alphys whimpered, it felt like the fog receded a little.

“Yeah, he’s the nicest guy I know,” She said as they entered Alphys’ stoop and stopped where she stood as Alphys put her hand on her doorknob, “and super tough…”

“Thank you,” Alphys said as Valerian took a breath to continue. A flash of hurt crossed her face and she turned red. 

“No worries. Thanks for hanging out with us today, it was fun. You’re really fun., Sorry if our argument upset you.”

“No, it’s… it’s fine. I shouldn’t have complained,” Alphys sighed and added to herself, “not when other people have it so much worse.”

Valerian stood there, at a loss. “Okay… don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything.” Alphys watched her go, wanting to speak, but all too aware of the sour, slimy taste in her mouth and the pounding headache growing sharper.

Alphys was alone when she opened the door and a white blur darted in between her legs. She shrieked.

“What the f-f-fuck?” She stepped in, flipping the light switch. Curled behind the door, she saw a shivering, white, fluffy ball of fur. A dog.

“Oh,” She muttered, her brow increasing. She held her hand out. She stepped outside again, looking for any indication of an owner: footprints, a leash, anything. But there wasn’t a sign of anyone except for the depressions left from Vale’s boots.

She held out a hand to it and after it was done sniffing, she picked the dog up and took it to her room. “Stay there.”

She went into the living room and threw a few logs into the fireplace, struck a few matches until the flame caught. When she returned, she saw nothing but a quaking lump under the blankets. She wished she had something for it to eat.

She stripped, leaving nothing on but her shirt and crawled into bed. The bump under the blankets raced towards her and pressed its cold body against her. A chill ran through her body, grounding her as she wrapped her arms around it.

She shot Valerian a text and attached a picture— _is this your dog?_

She was so tired.

She lifted her head and found that more and more of her view outside was being eaten up by white. She pulled out her phone and saw here was a blizzard warning on her lock screen. She clenched her eyes shut and more tears fell. How much worse could this vacation get?

This all was probably punishment for thinking she was safe. Her intuition had always told her that the moment she left Ebott this was going to get worse and worse. She was safe back at home. Undyne could protect her, her wife, who could keep her fate out of her own hands. A part of her couldn’t believe that she would even do this to her. 

Had Alphys been lying and she didn’t know it? Did Undyne not know how inept she could be? She didn’t like being alone. She didn’t like being honest. She was a coward. And she was putting her in the same situation that led to the—to her… so much suffering.

Was it even fair for her to be upset? Undyne… probably just needed a break. Love is work, and Alphys was work. And Undyne had to cope with the fact that her father could _die._ Alphys needed to do something. She needed to fix this. She needed to be someone that didn’t need to be protected. She needed to be someone who could stand on her own.

Her breath hitched and she scrubbed at her eyes, dialing Undyne’s number. Maybe one day she would prove that she could be that person. Not now. She was in danger and maybe she deserved being in danger for being so stupid, but she didn’t care. She rang four times, and on the fifth call she heard a sharp:

“Alphys, is everything okay?”

“Undyne—” She began. _Please, let me come home. I can do it. Just let me help. I’ll do anything. Just let me come home._

She shrieked and the dog barked as thunder rolled overhead, close. She heard the heater click off and then she was plunged into darkness.

It remained dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated! Sorry this took so long. Stuff happened, and I realize that I'm a slow-as-fuck writer LMAO. But I won't give up! Thank you for taking the time to read. Can you tell it all goes downhill for Alphys from here?
> 
> edit: 12/15/2020
> 
> Changed a plot point, at no point does Günther grab Alphys by the wrist.

**Author's Note:**

> welpp. this is my first fanfic in a while, so I hope you enjoyed it! I'd LOVE constructive criticism and comments are my life-blood. :) Thank you for taking the time to read!


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